


are you fucking kidding me

by chris_g



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime), 鬼滅の刃 | Kimetsu no Yaiba (Manga)
Genre: Gen, Not Beta Read, Original Character(s), Reader-Insert, We Die Like Men, crackfic and textfic i think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chris_g/pseuds/chris_g
Summary: 'motherfucker.'in which a lowkey chaotic university student trying to survive the 6-month collaboration with a bunch of weirdos.×a mixture of crackfic and textfic, with spoilers because of some info and slight plot i guess.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Original Character(s), Eren Yeager/Reader, Kibutsuji Muzan/Original Character(s), Kibutsuji Muzan/Reader, Kokushibou | Tsugikuni Michikatsu/Original Character(s), Kokushibou | Tsugikuni Michikatsu/Reader, Tsugikuni Yoriichi/Original Character(s), Tsugikuni Yoriichi/Reader, Ubuyashiki Kagaya/Original Character(s), Ubuyashiki Kagaya/Reader, Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	are you fucking kidding me

You actually wanted to die right now.

Like literally.

But then, you couldn't really complain since you basically signed up for a contest. The only difference is that, it would be done in a group and the members were to be picked at random once the registration was closed. You thought that it would take more than a week to do random grouping with that many contestants but it seemed that the staffs of this project were fast enough, considering the registration ended six days ago. 

And here you were. 

Not like you had much of a choice since the text was sudden and you were already outside of the university's gate and about to go home, but this happened so you had to go back inside again. 

So why did you want to die so much?

Meeting and talking to new people, basically. Totally not prepared. 

Even having to meet the assistant of this project, who was actually a fifth-year college student from engineering course which you briefly wondered how the hell these people survived that long. 

Then again, it was a price to pay for one's dream just as how you had to pay the price for your impulsiveness in applying and submitting your registration form with an excited grin, only to turn into a frown as your anxiety skyrocketed from then on after you realized what you did...

This was the time that you wished funeral parlors should have a walk-in appointment.

"So [Name], are you excited to meet with your members?" The assistant asked, eyes smiling. 

_'No.'_

"Y-Yeah," you cleared your throat then. _'Aw fuck, I can't believe I've done this.'_

After what felt so many minutes of walking, both you and the assistant stopped just outside an empty room here in the second floor of the organization's building. Even though you hadn't gotten inside yet, but your heart was beating so crazy like you were about to combust.

"Anyway, I'm guessing everyone's inside," he said, putting his hand on the knob. "Well, I just hope they are..." you heard him mutter at the last part, which made you confuse but shrugged off.

Not entirely, of course, since you were as nosy as rat sometimes.

Opening the door, you let your senior go inside first as you then followed right after, albeit with shyness and hesitance on your part. You noticed there were four people inside which had gotten you puzzled so you looked to the guy beside you, about to ask him—

Wait a fucking a minute.

You immediately whipped your head back to the four before you and you lowkey pinched yourself on your arm, internally wishing that you weren't seriously going to be with them _that_ long, and yet you felt the sting. That means, the joke was on you. 

It took all your will power not to gape upon realizing who these _guys_ are. 

Feeling a hand on your shoulder, you gulped. You couldn't even look at your senior right now as your eyes were fixated on them, whose attention had turned to both of you which you internally panicked. Breathing in and out, you focused not to linger your gaze far too long but at the same time your curiosity was strong enough that you sure it was obvious on your face.

Just an everyday battle between two bitches inside you.

"Alright, let's start the introduction from the left," he said with a smile, and you almost raised your eyebrow, thinking how the fuck did this guy seem to be so unfazed by _this_. 

_'Oh to be the assistant.'_

You released a shaky sigh as you made an eye-contact with the twins, both sitting on the table, and you just could see the obvious contrast from the two, one had a soft smile on his face while the other was the epitome of blank state. 

And you could've snorted upon witnessing how the older twin smacked his younger brother on the head, who immediately went back to his game, if it weren't for the hanafuda earrings from the smiling dude and three dangle-earrings on the right ear of the stoic dude.

"I guess, you're settled..." he said, so casually as if this happened many times, that for sure. "Anyway, [Name], the one who did the smacking is Tsugikuni Michikatsu and the other who received it is Tsugikuni Yoriichi."

_'This dude seriously went with that introduction,'_ you sweatdropped. 

You slightly bowed your head with a shy, nervous smile on your face. You swore the room temperature became warm, that or it was just your body that was practically sweating a bit as your heart continued to beat as if about to pull itself out from your chest.

_'If this is how I die, then so be it.'_

"Alright, up next is those two on the teacher de—oh, you guys are playing chess?" The fifth-year student chirped, clapping his hands. "Who's the winner?" 

As if on cue, the male with lavender eyes pull out a three-bill from his wallet and gave it to the other guy with piercing red eyes whose hand was open in waiting.

You deadpanned. 

"Ah," your senior chuckled, and you were sure this wasn't his first rodeo on meeting them. "Well, that's Kibutsuji Muzan who got the cake and that's his cousin, Ubuyashiki Kagaya." 

_'I'll overlook this one,'_ you internally sighed. You waved this time, seriously not trusting your voice. 

"Now, about those two... I swear to god, why's everything in pair, even the introduction? This isn't even a dyad thing." He was speaking quite fast but you still caught up with his mumbling, "Also, didn't I specifically say that they have to be on or before time?!"

Well, that answers your nosy ass.

You were about to calm him down when the door suddenly opened, and all of you looked at the new comers who were both panting.

And you finally died.

Internally. 

Because, _by fucking gods_ , you were practically begging to the fate or whoever the fuck was handling your life that your remaining members, even just one was normal. But noooo, you were seriously got dumped into this shit hole. 

After this, you'd be visiting the funeral parlor and demand a walk-in appointment. You bet your ass it should be in promo.

Staring into the green eyes of a brunet and a bluish-grey eyes of a blond, it was then you realized and noticed how the rumors were true that it really was hard to say they were brothers if it weren't for your knowledge already...

That they were _half-brothers_.

"Perfect timing!" The assistant exclaimed, a big grin on his face. And you wished you had his energy because right now, you were pronounced dead on the spot.

"So [Name], meet the two infamous troublemakers. Eren and Zeke Jaeger."

_'Motherfucker.'_

**Author's Note:**

> deadass gonna do this shit and im gonna regret it so fucking ✨ much✨ idk how to do this tbh, it's done on impulse as always. also i dont have a definite update sched so is gonna be on random 😘 and again, this story contains spoilers bcos of some info
> 
> ps. this was posted in quotev but ima transfer it here lmao


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